Mother’s Day can be a wonderful day to spend with family and show your Mother how much you appreciate what she does for you. And for those out there with their own young children, it is a day where you can enjoy opening gifts that your child has made at school or day care, breakfast in bed and big hugs & kisses from happy little faces.
But for others, like many women I am close with in my life, it is just a BIG reminder that another year has passed without having their own children.
Without the baby you lost that you wanted so much…
Without meeting a little human who is part of you…
Without being delivered breakfast in bed by happy faces with sticky fingers…
Without your husband thanking you for making him a dad…
Without that ‘complete’ feeling you get deep inside when you look at your growing family…
Feeling like this when you wake up on Mother’s Day can be heart breaking, and if you are anything like me when something is wrong, can make you feel like hiding from the world and pretending it isn’t happening. Surviving Mother’s Day through pregnancy loss can be a hard and isolating thing.
I have sat and held the hand of someone close to me while she was told her baby had no heartbeat. The pain is real, it is heartbreaking and it stays with you long after your babies life ends.
With statistics like up to 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage & there are 6 stillborn babies everyday in Australia, it is important to show we care and show some understanding to these women on Mother’s Day. So in the spirit of helping another woman going through this and feeling like this, below I have listed some tips and ideas on how to survive Mother’s Day through pregnancy loss this year.
- Light a candle in memory of your child. Think of them when you light it and you will closer to them and it will bring you some comfort.
- Visit their resting place, or a place that is special. Talk to them like they can hear you, read them a story or a letter.
- Write a letter to your baby.
- Do an activity or hobby that you love. Lose yourself in the activity and switch your mind off to the rest of the world. My favourites are bush walking, colouring in or reading a good book.
- Buy a gift that would suit a child of a similar age to yours. Donate this gift to a charity.
- Set up a memorial in your home or garden for your child. A plaque, candles, photo frame or a memorial river stone are all lovely way to pay tribute and your remember your child.
- Talk to family or friends about how you are feeling. Speak your child’s name. Tell them about your hopes and wishes for the future, this can help in dealing with the past.
- Cancel your plans – if you wake up on Mother’s Day and find it is too hard to go through with your plans with family, cancel them. It is important to look after yourself first. Spend the day doing some of the things listed above instead. It is ok to take time to yourself.
For those looking to add an at home memorial, here is the link to our beautiful Infant & Pregnancy Loss products
For anyone struggling this Mother’s Day, please reach out to the appropriate organisations for help.